Real (Estate) Negotiations Stories #3: How I Used Chocolates, Cars, and Seating Arrangements to Close the Deal

Fernando Levy Hara, AMDP ’09, leverages his decades of experience in real estate in Real Estate Negotiation Essentials: Dealmaking Techniques & Simulation, where participants learn impactful real estate negotiation techniques and immediately apply them in an online dealmaking simulation.

One of our most popular and entertaining instructors, Fernando reinforces his session teachings with personal stories. We wanted to share some of those stories to preview the program in this three-part series.

My partner and I were negotiating a land acquisition with three young entrepreneurs who had the property under contract. We suspected they lacked the funds to close the deal themselves and were attempting to “flip” the property. If they failed to close, they stood to lose a significant, non-refundable $200,000 deposit.

For the second round of negotiations, we invited them to our office to gauge their situation and level of urgency. It was essential to assess their emotional state and uncover their motivations. Recognizing the dynamics within their group was critical to our strategy.

Each of the three had a distinct personality:

  • The Retired Army Sergeant: Stoic and emotionally reserved, he exuded toughness and was the most difficult to read and influence. We knew he would present the most significant challenge in the negotiation.
  • The Outgoing Car Enthusiast: Flashy, extroverted, and personable, he was eager to showcase his wealth. As soon as he arrived, he dramatically placed the keys to an expensive Jaguar on the table.
  • The Reserved and Anxious Partner: Quiet and seemingly overwhelmed, he appeared to be the most susceptible to stress.

To create a more collaborative atmosphere, we carefully arranged the seating to prevent all three from sitting together on one side of the table, which would have fostered an adversarial setup. I sat beside the Army sergeant while my partner sat across from him. This arrangement allowed us to engage each individual more effectively.

Breaking the Ice

My partner immediately connected with the car enthusiast, engaging him in a conversation about racing and luxury cars. Their shared passion created a rapport that eased tensions. The two even went to the kitchen to continue their discussion over coffee, allowing my partner to gather insights about his priorities and desires subtly. The car enthusiast revealed that he was eager to close the deal to purchase another racing car—a key driver in his motivation.

The Chocolate Strategy

Meanwhile, I focused on the reserved partner, employing a subtle psychological tactic. I placed a box of fine Austrian chocolates on the table, knowing that anxious individuals often seek comfort through small gestures like snacking. Sure enough, he began eating the chocolates while opening up in conversation. Complimenting their business acumen and expressing curiosity about how they found the land helped build trust and put him at ease. Through this exchange, I confirmed our suspicion—they desperately needed financial backing to avoid losing their deposit.

The Silent Observer

The Army sergeant remained stoic and observant throughout the process, only speaking occasionally to balance the conversation when the other two disclosed too much. However, by understanding and addressing the other two’s emotional and personal drivers, we shifted the negotiation in our favor.

The Outcome

Within an hour, we successfully closed the deal. The structured seating, targeted icebreakers, and carefully framed questions helped us identify their motivations, reduce tension, and ultimately reach an agreement where everyone gained something.

This experience reinforced a vital lesson: understanding the other party’s intentions, emotions, and drivers is critical to advancing negotiations. By creating an environment of trust and collaboration, we turned a challenging situation into a win-win outcome.

About the Program

Real Estate Negotiation Essentials: Dealmaking Techniques & Simulation

This focused program, taught by a real estate developer and expert cross-border dealmaker, distills negotiation best practices into an easily applicable form for real estate professionals.

Learn negotiation dynamics to prepare yourself – on behalf of your organization or client – to understand parties’ respective interests, claim and create value, and resolve differences to close a deal – and bring your vision to life.

Dates: April 4, 7, & 9, 2025
Location: Online
Tuition: $1,200 through January 31, $1,400